The Weariness Of Being Woke & Why You Still Need To Care

I’m tired. I’m not even going to sit here and act like I’m unaffected. After all that this year has brought, how could you be anything but affected?

Let's face it -- it's hard to be "woke" all the time. It's exhausting and draining... but it's necessary.

I haven't written in a bit, and it's not just because it's been difficult to articulate how I've been feeling. I'd be ready to hit publish on a post, only for something major to happen, and make whatever I was about to address seem unimportant (justifiably so), in the scope of everything else.  

I've been finding myself getting overwhelmed. As someone who works in entertainment news, it's hard for me (and many others) to just "take a break" from social media, or ignore any type of news online. My job relies on these outlets, and I need to be on them in order to work.

Trust me -- I wish I could completely sign off of social media for a day, and not be reminded of how Donald Trump is ruining our country more and more, every hour, or why gun control is still an issue.

Sometimes, it gets difficult figuring out how to divide up my thoughts and empathy, while still continuing to live my day to day life.

I've been feeling guilty at times for caring about minuscule, pop culture events and even things that make me happy, like seeing Janet Jackson in concert (hello, childhood dream) or going to the Museum of Ice Cream.

I'm saddened over Puerto Rico, and then my heart still hurts for Mexico City. My heart breaks for the Vegas victims and their loved ones, and for Miami and Texas, too. Meanwhile, Northern California is on fire. 

I'm bothered, outraged, and disgusted at Harvey Weinstein and men like him who commit these deplorable acts. I'm triggered by my own experiences.  I'm angered at the fact that the government still has control over women's bodies. I'm frustrated at how people are misinterpreting the #TakeAKnee movement, and why we even have to prove that #BlackLivesMatter. FLINT STILL NEEDS CLEAN WATER.  

How do we find the balance? How do we find the joy in the little things, while continuing to care and take action on the bigger things?

How do we step away for our own mental sanity... while also doing our part?

I don't have all the answers, but instead of continuing my unintentional writing hiatus, I knew I needed to get this out, because I know I'm not alone on this.

Sometimes, I just want to be asleep, but at the end of the day, I'd still rather be "woke" and tired, than ignorant and out of touch.

And, for what it's worth, I continue to believe that everything gets brought to light for a bigger, better purpose.