Being Likable Is Overrated. Here's Why.
Growing up, I always thought being well-liked was the ultimate goal. That as long as people "liked" you, you'd be alright. As a result, I spent years striving for the approval of others and popularity.
Years later, social media came along and made it worse with an actual "LIKE" button, causing many of us to further seek outside validation.
I found that when seeking another person's acceptance -- when I didn't even accept myself -- always caused me to come up short.
The truth of the matter is, not everyone is going to like you. "You're not for everyone," as the saying goes. It took me nearly 30 years to face this truth, and I still struggle with it from time to time.
I've found that women especially feel the need to please people and make themselves "likable," even if that means sacrificing their opinions or truthful self.
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie recently gave an insightful interview on this topic (if her name looks familiar to you, you probably know her from Beyonce's ***Flawless.) The feminist Nigerian author told the Washington Post:
“It’s not your job to be likable. It’s your job to be yourself. Someone will like you anyway. ”
When you live for the acceptance of others, you lose yourself.
While the process of learning to love yourself can seem never-ending, do yourself the favor and like yourself, first. After all, in order to achieve anything in life, you have to be solid within.
But hey, maybe it's just me.